'Cruel Jaws' Review: Well, let me tell you some fin, brother!

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Aficionados of the Jaws franchise, which it is fair for me to assume you are, dear reader, will have perhaps pondered why they didn’t make any more films after Jaws: The Revenge. After all, it has its moments and a slew of terrible sequels hasn’t stopped others franchises from spitting them out or prevented people from watching them.

For example, the recent Jurassic World release (Dominion) actually annoyed me with how much I hated it. Yet if they end up making more I’ll almost certainly watch them. Dominion is an excellent example of this as the third Jurassic Park film was really bad. I also don’t have many nice things to say about the other Jurassic World films. I still watched them all.

Tremors, essentially just Jaws in the desert (something even the promotional posters alluded to), would be another creature feature franchise that had a great beginning with increasingly weak returns. Yet, despite the fact that the third film in that franchise was a bit of a farce (ass-blasters, anyone?) there were another four sequels released after that, each varying in quality but none as good as the first two instalments.

Yet Jaws remains untouched and untampered with since Jaws: The Revenge. Perhaps it’s the fact that the Jaws films were meant to be blockbusters - the original being the first ever summer blockbuster in cinema - and the key to a blockbuster’s success is profit. Jurassic World has seen huge revenue streams whilst Revenge performed poorly at the cinema and upon wider release in comparison with the others films in the franchise.

Blockbuster status was something never granted to films like Tremors and those films belong firmly in the B-movie category. Indeed, only the first Tremors film was released in cinemas (although as a side note, Tremors 2 is considered one of the best straight to video films ever made by some critics and arguably should’ve been released in cinemas).

It could also be to do with the fact that nobody wanted to see more tales of roaring sharks or the Brody family once Martin Brody was gone from our screens. Martin Brody was one of the most compelling aspects of Jaws 2 and is, in my humble opinion, the reason that the second film is the best of the Jaws sequels.

Why am I telling you this? What have carnivorous worms and infuriating dinosaur films got to do with anything?

In 1995, Italian director Bruno Mattei, using the pseudonym William Snyder, brought us the film Cruel Jaws. The film was actually marketed as Jaws 5 in certain markets. All shark films made after 1975, which is in the region of 100% of them, give or take a percentage point or two, owe Jaws a debt and this film takes that to an extreme.

It is said that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Cruel Jaws so desperately wants to be a Jaws film that Peter Benchley is even given a writing credit for the novel that produced the original film. It actually ventures into stealing shots at points, moving from imitation to outright identity theft. Steven Spielberg and Peter Benchley must’ve remained blissfully unaware of the film as it was released with the offending shots which are multiple and liberal (in the true sense of the word, not it’s current, distorted meaning). Jaws: The Revenge is bad for this (for example Ellen Brody reminiscing about scenes she wasn’t present for) but this is way worse.

The film also steals from other shark films, including most of the ending of Deep Blood and Great White aka The Last Shark, two Italian sharksploitation films that also borrowed heavily from Jaws.

With all that in mind, let’s dive in to the world of Cruel Jaws, the unofficial final instalment of the Jaws series and a film that definitely wouldn’t have been endorsed by Steven Spielberg.

Plot

The film opens with a trio of sketchy sea dogs on a boat, two of whom are in scuba gear and are about to search for navy equipment. Whilst swimming amongst the opening credits the two encounter a large shark - one which moves even more strangely than the shark in Jaws: The Revenge. It traps the pair in a cave at which point they fire a harpoon at the creature.

Unperturbed, the shark proceeds to carefully move rocks into the opening of a cave they are hiding in. From above the sea, the man left aboard the boat warns them that they only have three minutes of air left. By my reckoning, that was less than four minutes into the film and around three minutes after they dived. I’m no diving expert but six minutes of air doesn’t seem like very much. To put that into some context, the Spanish freediver Aleix Segura Vendrell held his breath for 24 minutes underwater in 2016 and Navy SEALs are trained to hold their breath for 2-3 minutes in the USA. Add in a shark that has figured out that they have little oxygen in their tanks (maybe they were a particular brand?) and we are already suspending disbelief to incredulous levels. And you thought telepathic sharks were ridiculous.

Realising their predicament, the divers escape the cave out of the small gap that shark hasn’t covered with predictable results, namely the sort of fast cuts of teeth and bubbles that were used throughout the Jaws franchise. Having disposed of the two divers, the shark rams the boat and a terrified sailor is presumably chomped in similar fashion.

We next meet a man named Billy and a woman named Vanessa with questionable acting talents who are stopping at an aquarium. Some of the film was shot at a wildlife park called Theatre of the Sea in Florida and this is where the pair have arrived. We see dolphins swimming alongside a young girl named Susy to the delight of onlookers, one of whom bears a passing resemblance to Hulk Hogan. I’m unsure whether the wildlife park had any 24 inch pythons on display.

Hogan, who goes by the name of Dag in the film and Richard Dew when not, pulls Susy out of the water and puts her in a wheelchair. It turns out that Susy, a man named Bob and the Hulkster are a family - a father and his two children to be precise. Dag has lost his wife and his daughter is in a wheelchair and to add to his woes, a sheriff turns up to tell him he is going to lose his park in 30 days because he hasn’t paid his rent.

We get a major Jaws 2 reference soon after as a scantily dressed couple run along a beach towards a flock of seagulls before being brought to a halt by the sight of a hideous corpse. However, this is no orca corpse but one of the scuba divers. We then get a Jaws reference as Billy gives his expert opinion how the corpse came to experience critical tissue loss, saying it wasn’t a speedboat propellor but could well be a shark or an orca. Billy does not bat an eyelid over the half devoured body when he first sees it but is more uncomfortable at the very brief autopsy scene that we get.

For the record, I didn’t think the effects of the body were too bad. From what I’ve seen thus far, I don’t think I’ll be able to say that very often so praise where it is due.

In an original plot twist, the sheriff is told that he can’t close the beaches as it is tourist season and that they should just put the death down to a boating accident. Billy says that only one shark could do this - a tiger shark. Not a great white. Not a bull shark. Not a white tip. Just a tiger shark.

There is another Jaws 2 reference, this time when a lady named Gloria pesters Dag’s son Bob into meeting up with her and asking, ‘do you always do what your daddy tells you?’ Even the time they agree to meet is stolen from Jaws 2.

The film avoids an outright ripoff of the opening of the original Jaws when a young couple are canoodling on the beach and, this time, the man actually makes it into the water. The woman is grabbed from beneath but it is her partner rather than a shark. At least, the first time around it is. The second time it is a shark and it disposes of the woman in another series of fast cuts.

Bob and a woman named Gloria are strolling along the beach when they are attacked by Gloria’s brother Ronnie. Ronnie and Gloria’s dad, named Samuel, is the villain looking to close down the aquarium. After giving Bob a kicking, Ronnie and his goons break into the aquarium and try to feed poisoned fish to the dolphins. Yet somehow, the trio are outwitted and Dag is seemingly familiar with the smell of strychnine. As a result he is able to tell that somebody tried to poison the dolphins and thus save the animals.

The sheriff goes to see Billy about the latest attack and asks what he knows about sharks. Billy literally tells us that they ‘swim, eat and make baby sharks’ and that they’ll either have to kill it or starve it. The only way the rip-off could be more blatant is if Billy was called Hat Mooper and they end up sailing on the Porker. Perhaps the Gawker would be better in light of the Hulk Hogan lookalike.

In case we aren’t sure that our pound shop Larry Vaughn is evil we next see him taunting Dag about a hotel he plans to build on the site of the aquarium when Dag has been forced out. Susy tries and fails to appeal to the better nature of the Samuel and as punishment one of the seals pushes Samuel into a pool.

If you can believe it (I’m sure you can at this point), the film then references Jaws 3 when Sean Brody and his girlfriend are in the water at Seaworld and his brother uses a megaphone to scare them into thinking that John Law is arresting them. The pair leave the water whilst being unwittingly followed by the shark, who for some reason is pulling a buoy along. We also saw moments earlier that the shark in question was in fact a great white shark and all shots of the shark look like a great white. What is it with these shark films and an inability to get the right species?

Soon after we also see what is either a Blue shark or a Mako shark too. Additionally, we also see what look suspiciously like dolphins masquerading as the shark when two men in a helicopter shoot it. The shark is brought ashore and that Mooper suggests that they should open the shark up to see if it is the right shark. Samuel naturally refuses.

The tourists arrive for a wind surfing regatta, a regatta that Samuel has claimed is completely safe due to shark nets around the area. After another shot of what is clearly a great white shark, the regatta begins just as a shot of a shark attacking a divers cage flashes up. We then get a Jaws 2 reference (the waterski in the water from Terry’s death) and then a shot of a dolphin, not a shark, next to a net. In case the ripoffs weren’t blatant enough the film then literally steals a shot of a fin from one of the Jaws films (I think it’s Jaws 2) as well as a shot from on the back of the shark that is also from Jaws 2. We also get a shot stolen from Enzo Castellari’s Great White, which you can see in Daily Jaws’ own 10 Craziest Movie Shark Attacks video on YouTube.

Finally, we see the model of the shark made for the film that we first view in very low light in the opening scene. It is not good. I have a feeling that the longer these reviews go on, the better Bruce will look. The shark, which has blue eyes and the look of someone who has spent three days at an illegal rave at one point, bites a jetty, sending a sea of humanity cascading into the water. There are more stolen shots (including Alex Kintner’s death) before little Susy ends up in the water. Vanessa jumps into help before being pulled under the water. And so, due to multiple deaths, the regatta was suspended.

In the next couple of scenes, Dag plays the role of both Quint and Chief Brody when he vents his anger on Samuel before a shot of him in front of a picture of a shark on a board. We even get a Jurassic Park reference in the second scene when Dag mimics Alan Grant scaring the annoying kid with the raptor claw.

Dag, Billy and Bob set off to kill the shark as do Ronnie and some of his associates. The former leave the bay to the sound of some of the Star Wars theme (no, really) and we get some to see some of Hat Mooper’s contraptions to help search for the shark.

Meanwhile, the shark (plus another shot of a dolphin) has found the latter group and rams the boat. It then seemingly gets cut open by the propellor. It stayed completely still whilst doing so. I

was under the impression that sharks had to keep swimming or they would sink. Now I know the real reason for their perpetual motion and so do you.

The group lure the shark out from underneath the boat, apparently still very much alive, and after wrestling with it Ronnie ends up falling in the water. Quick cuts ensue and by now we all know what that means. The panicked survivors attempt to douse the shark in petrol and fire a flare gun at the creature. We predictably get a shot of the explosion from Jaws 2 that the scene is ripping off and it’s one boat down, one to go for the shark.

The sheriff, now in a helicopter, throws bait into the ocean to try and catch the shark. When the shark appears we get, ‘we need a bigger helicopter,’ from the pilot - they couldn’t even rip off the line correctly. The shark manages to drag the helicopter down into the sea (turns out they did need a bigger helicopter) and the sheriff and the pilot end up in the water in a flurry of teeth and scales.

Hat Mooper gives us some exposition as well as talking once more about his territoriality theory. Whilst some animals do claim territory, it is debated whether sharks are amongst them. It is explained that the navy created the shark to defend ‘Murica from its foreign enemies but the shark escaped the vessel it was being transported on, hence its current terrorising of the local population.

Two goons, sent by shady associates of Samuel, steal a map that the group was looking at to trace the sunken navy ship that the shark escaped from. One of these chicos looks a little like Scott Hall (sorry if you aren’t a wrestling fan, some of these references will be a mystery to you) and the other is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt. They sabotage our hero’s boat and sail out on their own to look for the ship. However, the sabotage job wasn’t good enough and the ship is working again soon enough.

The shark claims another victim when Scott Hall is eaten alive and the shark surfaces to taunt the man in the Hawaiian shirt with his body. The man in the Hawaiian shirt starts firing off a shotgun but is disposed of when the shark attacks his boat.

We get some more Star Wars music and then our heroes jump into the water to try and blow up the ship. They are hoping the shark will be in the ship. It is a flimsy plan but as territoriality hasn’t yet been disproved it just might work. Plus it’ll mean they can rip off Jaws and, by default, Jaws: The Revenge. We get some nice underwater shots of ocean creatures, such as a large cephalopod and rays but the ocean creature we are waiting for isn’t far away.

Dag tries shooting at it but to no avail but two of the divers have made it back safely. Only Bill is still down there. The shark stalks Bill through the sunken ship (yes, they actually ripped off Jaws: The Revenge) but can’t get to him. One of the gang returns to the ocean floor to help but the two miss each other. Bill surfaces and we realise that the shark has got the other diver in his sights. The diver escapes and the sunken ship is blown up. We get the obligatory explosion shot from the first Jaws film and some special effects that make the shark breaking the glass in Jaws 3 comparable in the special effects category to Avatar when that first came out. The shark is gone, it’s reign of terror at an end, like so many before.

As a result, the dolphins (and indeed the rest of the local population) celebrate with some japery at the aquarium and the previously evil Samuel tries to present a cheque of $100,000 to Dag. The seal pushes him in the water again then pretends to be a shark and Samuel struggles to stay above the water whilst Dag and his daughter laugh at him. Our final shot is of something going through the reeds under the ocean, which means that perhaps there is another ‘Tiger’ shark out there who one day will stalk the family, seeking vengeance and banana boats.

Ratings

Quality of the sharks - The real sharks that are used are fine. My only gripe with them is that they are almost all great Whites whereas the film specialises that the problem is a tiger shark.

However I cannot give a higher overall score in this category. For one, the model they use doesn’t look very good. I’d argue that it looks worse than anything in the Jaws franchise. The model also looks a lot more like a great white than a tiger shark. However, as the budget was small I won’t penalise the film much for that.

What I will penalise for is the repeated use of other shark films for footage. It is lazy and derivative and makes me wonder why they bothered making their own shark at all. What is arguably worst in this category is the footage of dolphins, which are famously not sharks.

3/10

Underwater Photography - There is some decent underwater footage in the film, albeit not of the same quality as Mako. Unfortunately, the action shots from underwater are often dark and attacks rely on fast cuts too much. Some of the underwater footage comes from other films too. There is a repeated shot of some reeds that the shark is supposed to be swimming near to but it looks fake.

On the plus side, there are a few different animals in there and they are a nice addition to the film. 4/10

Suspense - If you had never seen any of the Jaws films you may find this film suspenseful. I actually enjoyed the second attack at the beach and a couple of near misses as they were something a bit different.

However, if you have seen those films you’ll have a good idea what was about to happen a lot of the time and even how characters would behave. This ruined a lot of the potentially gripping moments.

You may know what is coming in a film, for example the deaths of Arbogast and Marion Crane in Psycho, and still jump out of your skin when it happens. In fact, knowing what is coming can put you on edge for that moment. But watching something that has been recycled leaves nothing to the imagination. And therein lies the problem - the unknown is scary, familiarity is boring.

3\10

Characters and story - The Romeo and Juliet style romance between Bob and Gloria isn’t too bad but Dag is as one dimensional as his lookalike’s film roles from the same time. As many of the characters are in some way filling in for characters from the Jaws franchise they’re noteworthy more for their similarities to other, better developed characters than anything else.

There is only so much you can do with a shark film and it’s story. Just copying other stories is still the laziest option. You need a reason for the shark/s to be a problem. You need a reason that people need to go into the water. Thus you have the conflict. Everything else is up to you. Again, if you’ve seen Jaws films then you’ll know what is going to happen throughout a lot of the story.

Apparently, the director has form for just ripping off other films. He has also ripped off Dawn of the Dead (another of my favourite films) in Hell of the Living Dead. At least watching his films might lead you to watch the vastly superior originals.

2/10

Watchability - I did audibly groan whilst watching this film. It didn’t get me angry in the way Dominion did but then very few films have ever had that effect on me. There was enough to keep me entertained in it but I doubt it was intended. I couldn’t get past the fact that Dag looks like Hulk Hogan for example and was half hoping he’d end up in the water and hulk up as the shark was attacking. I doubt even a 25 foot tiger shark could cope with the atomic leg drop.

2/5

Other factors - I said that this section could give points for things like Jaws references. That being said, the Jaws references are multiple and some parts of the films are actually stolen. I’ll give a point for the references but no more. I also enjoyed the seal pushing Samuel into the water twice. It wouldn’t have seemed out of place on a sitcom set at the aquarium.

2/5

Total - 16/50

This is a bad film. It is worth watching if you like films that are so bad they’re good but do not watch if you are looking for an original story, good acting, familiar faces or thrilling action. The attack on the regatta has its moments and there are a couple of other moments but overall you’ll watch this film to laugh at how bad it is rather than how scary it is.

The film has its tongue firmly in its cheek but with wooden acting, shameless theft from other films in both sound and visual aspects and nothing new in the plot department means that this film should be quite far down your to watch list of shark films.

Watch ‘Cruel Jaws’ below

Words by Jamie Tingle

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