SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME ALONE: YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS FILMS 'JAWSIFIED'
We all love a Christmas film classic, and we all know that Jaws the Revenge is a Christmas film (don't try to fight it, if Die Hard is, then so is the third Jaws sequel).
But what if your favourite Christmas film was given a Jaws twist? Dean Newman decks the halls, checks his shelves of DVDs and Blurays and sees how some festive film favourites given a fin-tastic Jaws makeover might look.
Show Me The Way To Go Home Alone
It's Jaws meets...Home Alone (1990)
The Wet Bandits try to steal a boat...but wish they'd chosen a bigger one that didn't have Kevin McCallister on board.
Kevin – who screams after putting Old Spice on after shaving with Quint’s machete - eventually takes out the shark with his BB gun after tiring it out with three tins of yellow paint tied to it.
Holiday 'in sharks'
It's Jaws meets...Holiday Inn (1942)
Hooper has left the Aurora and has decided to turn the family farm into an entertainment venue featuring shark-themed acts that is only open on the fourth of July weekend.
Great White Christmas
It's Jaws meets...White Christmas (1954)
It’s the film you have been dreaming about, well perhaps Ellen Brody has been.
After singing show me the way to go home and kicking their legs back to shore on yellow barrels, Brody and Hooper are a song-and-dance team that become romantically involved with a sister act, get drunk and fool around, but eventually team up to save the failing Mayor Vaughn inn.
It's A Wonderful Lifejacket
It's Jaws meets...It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
Captain Quint returns to Amity Island and is unsure whether he has a place in it anymore, about to take his life by slipping into the mouth of a hungry shark a guardian angel shows how he helped save lives on the USS Indianapolis and just what positive impact he had on Amity Island, keeping the local music shop going with his purchases of piano wire, andhelping capture and kill the shark.
"Every time a bell rings, a shark gets its fins..."
A Chrissie-mas story
It's Jaws meets...A Christmas Story (1983)
All a young Chief Brody wants is a BB gun for Christmas, so he can blow the shark to pieces that killed poor Chrissie Watkins. In her memory he has a lamp with a leg that looks like hers.
National Geographic’s Christmas Vacation
It’s Jaws meets…National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Matt Hooper is really into Jawsmas and promises to make it a good one for his wife Ellen and two children, until he discovers he hasn’t received his shark research bonus. To make matters worse he has to contend with cousin Quint turning up, with the pair joining forces to kill a great white Clark…a fabled Land Shark!
The Family Maneater
Jaws meets…The Family Man (2000)
Nicolas Cage (goes in the water) plays the great white shark from Jaws and imagines how different his life would have been if he’d continued swimming past Amity Island and never met the Brody family, and how under different circumstances things could have been very different between him and Chrissie.
The Pollyday
Jaws meets...The Holiday
Jack Black swaps places with Polly from Amity P. D. and helps Chief Brody during the winter period, moving flotsam and waiting for the summer deputies. But the big question is, how is his printing? As for Polly, she is hoping to fall in love, one day her prints will come.
Love Amity
Jaws meets….Love Actually (2003)
Amity as you know means friendship, which can often lead to getting drunk and fooling around.
Nine Amity Islander’s stories are intertwined as they explore the one emotion that connects us all, the love of sharks.
Miracle on 25 Feet
It’s Jaws meets… Miracle on 34th Street (1947 and 1994)
Two young boys with a cardboard fin fill in for the shark on Amity Island. They prove such a hit on the fourth of July weekend, but take things too far by eating Pipit and killing fellow classmate Alex Kintner.
Claiming they are now a real great white shark leads to a court case to determine whether they are a real great white shark.
Words by Dean Newman
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