The Jaws 3 That Sank Without Trace

We all know that Jaws was a cinematic juggernaut in 1975, Jaws 2 followed in 1978 and at the time was the most successful sequel of all time.

A third film was inevitable, but we almost got a very different one from the eventual Jaws 3D. We almost got a Jaws spoof, called Jaws 3, People 0.

Spielberg certainly wasn't going to come back, Scheider had only returned to fulfill his Universal contract after dropping out of The Deer Hunter, but Producers of the first two films, Zanuck and Brown, were still chumming the waters for a second shark sequel.

And rather can continue down the road of an adventure horror thriller, they went left field and decided on an out and out comedy. You'd have thought that perhaps the disappointing returns of Steven Spielberg's very own 1941 might have made them think twice. But with the likes of Animal House, Meatballs, Stripes and Airplane! (complete with Jaws spoof intro on the beginning titles) raking it in at the box office, the producers of Jaws and The Sting were sold.

The first completed script was delivered in 1979, just one year after Jaws 2, and was written by John Hughes - who would go onto write the likes of National Lampoon's Vacation, The Breakfast Club and Home Alone. Matty Simmons, Producer of Animal House and National Lampoon's Vacation came up with a story idea.

Well, we say story idea. It was set to open with Jaws novelist Peter Benchley taking a swim in his own pool at night, only to be eaten by a giant shark, clearly paying homage to the original's opening Chrissie Watkins scene.

It was meta, before the term even existed, and was set to be the story of a film crew making a sequel to Jaws, but like the original is beset by production issues. Namely that filming keeps on getting interrupted by actual great white shark attacks. Sheesh. That must have been some great pitch, cos I'm just not getting it. And I love the likes of Airplane! and Kentucky Fried Movie.

And if that wasn't 'hilarious' enough the shark in the shark film being made as part of the - and I use this rather loosely - plot was in actual fact meant to be revealed as an alien that had taken the form of a shark to destroy tourist trade. Um, me neither.

So, you may hate Jaws 3D. Many do. But this would have surely been the great white turd - which Spielberg nicknamed Bruce during the shoot of the first film - writ large. One can only imagine what Verna Fields must have made of it all.

It's director was set to be Joe Dante, who was fresh from Jaws rip off, Piranha. He would of course go on to direct Gremlins and Innerspace, both which were Executive Produced by Spielberg.

So, what happened? It's rumoured that Spielberg wasn't keen on the film that launched his career being turned into a joke. The story goes that he gave Universal boss, Sid Sheinberg - who was also married to Lorraine Gary - that either the spoof got canned or he would walk out of his contract. Whether it is true or not, we'll perhaps never know.

That would have seen Universal miss out on future projects such as E. T., Jurassic Park and Schindler's List, so would have been a huge error on their part.

Exit Zanuck and Brown's involvement in the Jaws series and enter stage right, Alan Landsburg, producer of Jaws 3D.

Would you have welcomed this Jaws spoof sequel, or are you thankful it scuppered before it set sail?

Words by Dean Newman

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