Shark Movie Review: Sharknado 5

Whilst the Fast & Furious movies might have three up on the Sharknado franchise, the prize for one-upmanship in terms of bigger, better and more ridiculous undoubtedly goes to the latter. Now inexplicably on it's fifth movie, the sharks are going global!

 

Anyone who has seen a Sharknado movie before knows exactly what you're letting yourselves in for. They're movies best enjoyed with a pizza, a crate of beer and your brain firmly switched off! Whether you believe it or not, Global Swarming takes this franchise to even more ridiculous levels, involving blimps, shark proof helmets, time travel, and of course more sharks than you could shake a chainsaw at.

 

Wearing its influences firmly on its fin, the title font pays homage to Indiana Jones, as does one of the opening scenes involving an ancient shark relic...or something like that, I wasn't paying attention to the plot at this point! Fast forward and we're in London, the first stop on our globe-trotting adventure, and a gadget sequence straight out of James Bond. Here we meet some important plot pieces such as the shark-proof helmet (you heard me), which is given to Gil, Fin and April's son.

 

Because of reasons, it isn't long before shark chaos ensues and the tornado hits London. The "celebrity" cameos come as thick and fast as the whirlwind of sharks, with Louie Spence, Katie Price and Tom Daley making an appearance. The latter two get some appropriately ridiculous death scenes with Katie Price being crushed by a falling shark, and Tom Daley diving off a London bridge into the open mouth of a shark. A flying Tara Reid then attempts to prop up Big Ben, Iron Man-style, and Ian Ziering's Fin Shepherd rides a shark down the stairs of Buckingham Palace. It is worth noting that all of the above happens before the opening credits!!

 

If you can call it a plot, Global Swarming mostly focuses on April and Fin's attempts to rescue their son, Gil, who has been swept up into the sharknado. Mercifully he was wearing his shark-proof helmet which conveniently also has a tracker in it so he can be found easily...see you knew that shark-proof helmet was going to be important really! A quick pitstop on a steampunk blimp, an escape on an improvised sled, and a daring ski chase ensue at the speed of a swirling tornado. It is hard to criticise the shocking convenience of which the characters are able to get from A to B in a film which is about a tornado full of sharks, but Global Swarming dials this up to "ridiculous" at all times.

 

 

Via the sharknado, which apparently is now some sort of teleportation device, the heroes end up in Australia ("hold on to your budgie smugglers, the sharks have hit Australia"), and the Sydney Opera House is transformed into a battle station to destroy the sharks. If the Down Under setting was used entirely for the line "throw another shark on the barbie" then I am more than okay with this!

 

 

It is a veritable whirlwind of stereotypes and plot conveniences, and by the time the sharknado touches down in Japan, it has mutated into a giant shark made of sharks, or in other words "Sharkzilla". This moment alone feels like it has made this entire franchise worthwhile, it is next level crazy in the best possible way!

 

 

There's a surprisingly sad moment in the death of Nova, and all joking aside, this character was one of the best in the series so it is genuinely sad to see her go. April also meets a slightly sticky end but due to the fact she is a robot, I don't doubt that she will make a return in the inevitable sixth movie. It is worth mentioning that at some point in the movie, Reid's April says "I'm a lot of things but I'm not a human helicopter". Context and reason is not important for a line that fantastic.

The end is suitably ridiculous with possibly the greatest cameo in the franchise so far, in the form of Dolph Lundgren. Playing Gil from the future, Fin is whisked away in DeLorean-esque vehicle for some time-hopping, shark-slaying adventures. Watch this space guys, if the next instalment isn't called "Shark to the Future" we'll eat our hats!

By Sarah Buddery

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